At the end of last year, shortly after listing my food truck for sale, I was offered a really great opportunity to park it at a nearby resort for the summer.

The guaranteed daily traffic and high profit margins meant that it would be a very profitable few months. I could make enough to pay off debt and take my family to Costa Rica in the winter.

When I first heard about it, I thought it was an obvious yes. That maybe I was making the wrong decision in wanting to leave food service in favor of something location-independent.

But my gut told me I needed to stop and think about it. That should have been my first clue.

However, I’ve also learned that sometimes it’s not a yes YET, because of timing. So I decided to gather more information and mull over the reasons I had for not saying yes.

When I got divorced, in addition to hearing that it was time to go back to Mass, I also heard, “Get your house in order.”

To which I replied, “What the hell does that even mean?”

But over time, I came to see that not only did I need to get my own spiritual house in order, but I needed to turn my attention back to my children who had gotten so little of my attention the farther I wandered from God.

As I focused more of my attention back on my family, it came with a very strong sense to be home more to intentionally create a safe haven for my family. A place that would draw them out of their rooms so we could connect more.

I also felt like I needed to work from home again. After eight years as a CrossFit and nutrition coach at a local gym, I was tired of leaving multiple times a day, usually during peak connection times with my kids, and it felt like it was time for that chapter to end so I could be home more.

This was what was running through my mind when I thought about that opportunity and when I finally made my decision, it was with the firm conviction that I was making the right one.

I told them no.

The decision was immediately apparent when I realized that the things that were giving me pause were doing so because they were not in alignment with my values.

Spending 12+ hours a day away from home for several months was definitely not in alignment with my value of connection. Specifically, fostering connection in my home. And it was definitely not in alignment with my value of freedom.

Once I made that connection, it wasn’t just a no, it was a fuck no.

I redefined my top values at the beginning of 2024 and wrote them on the whiteboard in my bedroom that I look at every day.

Which now that I think about it, was not a coincidence. I think it was their prominence in my daily life that finally made me make the connection between knowing my values and making important decisions.

After this specific decision, it’s made me so much more aware of this and has made making decisions even easier because I can just quickly ask myself, “Is this in alignment with my values?”

Now, to clarify, I’m talking about my top personal values. When I redefined them last year, the coach leading the program recommended picking three.

She outlined why having three top personal values is important - they are customized to you and help you create a life you love. If you have too many “top” values, they can no longer be considered top values.

Then she offered some questions to ponder and a list of possible values to choose from, with the instruction to circle the ones that resonated.

After doing that, you scratched off the ones that didn’t stand out as your most important and grouped together any that had a similar theme and see if they could all fall under one word.

Looking at the workbook now, I see that had I continued working through it after I identified my top values, I would have seen that she clearly mentions how they help you make decisions. Oops.

I know she said three, but I couldn't see any way around the five, no matter how I grouped them.

In light of the last year - what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown - I decided it was worth revisiting my values.

When I last defined them, it was with the aim of creating a happy life … that basically glorified me. That’s just not who I am anymore.

Now, my aim is Christ-consciousness - what I call the combination of God- and self-awareness I mentioned here.

My values then, are what will help guide me to stay in alignment with God and being my most authentic self.

They are so very simple:

And I got it down to three, ha!

Along with instructions on how to pinpoint your values, the program also gave the challenge to identify the places in your life where you are living in alignment with your values and the places you are not. (I love a good audit.)

So I intend to take this new list and have a look over what I’m doing now and see what’s going well and what needs to change.

Growth is good!

Have you identified your top core values? I invite you to do so if you haven’t. Or, if you have, revisit them to make sure they still ring true.

Next, do a little audit to see if you’re living in alignment. Celebrate those places that you are. And if you find areas you aren’t, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, meditate on what changes you need to make and what healing needs to happen to move into alignment.

Some things will be quick and easy, others will take time. It’s a process.