Hi, I’m Nina, a Catholic Mystic (with a heavy emphasis on the mystic). The purpose of Redeeming Home is to help you dig deep into your awareness of God and self (read what I mean in my Manifesto of Love) so you can feel at home with who you are and create a life of joy, meaning and purpose. Welcome.

I did my first Spartan race in May 2019. My badass friend Karen had been suggesting I join her for a while and I kept telling her no because it sounded insane and awful.

When I realized that I had the same thoughts about CrossFit before finally trying it and falling in love, I decided to give it a shot.

So I signed up for the race Karen was doing - the Montana Beast at the age group level.

If you also don’t know, the Beast is Spartan’s hardest normal race at 13.1 miles (yes, a half marathon) and 30 obstacles. I say normal because they have harder ones, but they really push their Sprint, Super and Beast races to the masses. Also, the age group level is one step down from competing with the Elites.

What I learned from a very chipper lady several miles into the race is that Montana is part of their Mountain Series, which is Spartan for Hard AF, will probably make you cry. And the Montana one specifically is one of the more challenging races in the series.

My only response was, “No shit.”

The cheerful woman then asked me how many races I’d done and I let her know that this was my first one. To which she replied, “Wow! You signed up for the hardest race for your first one! Good job!”

She then wished me luck and ran off.

FML.

I foolishly went into the race believing that my current CrossFit and strength building routine would be all that I needed and that I would handle it all with ease and grace.

I was SO. Fucking. Wrong.

My first clue that I was completely unprepared was the massive hill we had to climb straight from the start line, that I ended up walking after a quarter of the way up, followed by two miles where my feet were so cold they went numb.

When I got to the river crossing where I was wading to the other side in what felt like nearly freezing, waist-high water, I was really questioning my life choices and had some choice words to share with Karen at the end.

When I hit the checkpoint and heard on the radio that there was a bear at the previous checkpoint, I knew that this was an adventure I wasn’t going to forget.

And when I sprained my ankle before the halfway point and was painfully limping down the longest hill of my life, I was ready to quit. As I hobbled and grimaced, I told myself that at the next checkpoint I would ask the medical team to come and take me out of the race.

But then I remembered Cora. She was a client at the CrossFit gym I coach at and had killed herself shortly before Christmas the following year at only 14-years-old. When I thought about her, I could only think of how hard everything must have felt to just give up, how painful life must have been for her.

I decided I could handle a few miles on a sprained ankle. I dug deep for the strength I wish I could have lent to her. And I found the determination to finish that race.

It helped that as I approached the last mile, I was assuring myself that I would never participate in that nonsense ever again.

Until I crossed the finish line, feeling like a mighty warrior.

Then, I was planning everything I needed to do to train for the next race and be fully prepared to kick ass (mostly my own). Running, especially hills. Looking forward to that river so I could be excited when I got there. More running.

It was actually a lot like giving birth. I soon forgot about how hard the process was and focused only on the reward.

The last six months have arguably been the hardest of my life. And at the beginning, I prayed and begged God to bring the trial to an end already so the suffering could be over and I could be happy again.

I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but He reminded me that I am a warrior and that struggles are just training meant to refine and grow me.

It was that mindset, plus my birth and Spartan experiences, that shifted my mindset to my current point of view:

It’s like it says in James 1:2-4:

How many times do we try to get out of things without learning the lessons we need to learn and grow? And how often do we keep repeating those same lessons? Stick with it, learn the lesson, move on.

A few days ago, my daughter was telling me about all these sad movies she loves that hit her right in the feels. When I asked her why she likes such sad movies, she responded in true Ella fashion by yelling, “For the character development, MOM! I don’t watch Percy Jackson to see some hot guy go to college then go on and have a happy life. I watch it to see him face challenges and grow into who he was made to be!”

She gets it.

We all play a part in a larger story. And we learn and grow by facing obstacles and challenges. They are what help us become who we were made to be. Once we step into that, we can move forward in our mission - the reason we came to Earth.

In Percy Jackson, Percy and company have to stop by the Lotus Hotel during their very time-sensitive quest. While they’re there, they realize that they have actually wandered into a time-warping trap created by the Lotus-eaters with the intention that anyone entering would never want to leave. They are surrounded by people who have been stuck there for decades.

In the story of Odyssesus, which this is based off of, when Odysseus visits that land, those of his comrades who taste the sweetness of the lotus lose their consciousness of home and therefore cannot return home.

A lot of people have gotten stuck in the Lotus hotel, distracted by accumulating wealth and things, content to work themselves to death in jobs they hate because they believe that’s all they’re meant to do. Living any other way isn’t even on their radar. Or if it is, it feels like an impossible dream.

I believe that God inspires many works of art, including books and movies, and that many of these stories are meant to wake us up to what we’re really here for. When you read or watch something that lights you up, almost like it’s shaking a part of you awake, don’t ignore it.

It’s the part of you that remembers home trying to get your attention.

Does that mean you have to go on crazy quests and slay monsters? No.

If you look deeper at the story (at any good story, really) the quest is just the journey of self-discovery where you overcome obstacles and become your most authentic self. A conscious self. One that knows that you are here for more.

What that more is depends on the uniqueness that is you. There are many parts in the body of Christ, after all, all of which are important.

I believe a large part of my mission is hospitality - creating a sacred haven for myself and family and welcoming other people into my home to love and feed them. It’s simple yet deeply satisfying and I know it has a far-reaching impact.

I also know that I was meant to wake people up on a global level. All of my life experiences and skills and personality traits have led me here. I gladly accept my orders.

Unfortunately, many of us are unaware that there are even orders.

And some of us have gotten our orders and run the other way out of fear or obstinance (ala Jonah).

But just because we are unaware or hiding from our purpose, doesn’t mean that each of us isn’t here for a reason. We all have a mission.

We are all greatly needed in this story.

As a coach, my job isn’t just to tell you what I think you should do and walk away. I’m here to offer examples and encouragement and some tough love - like when you take a nap in the middle of your burpees (I’m looking at you, Harrison).

So, if any of this resonates, I invite you to go deeper and ask yourself the following questions: