Hi, I’m Nina, a Catholic Mystic (with a heavy emphasis on the mystic). The purpose of Redeeming Home is to help you dig deep into your awareness of God and self (read what I mean in my Manifesto of Love) so you can feel at home with who you are and create a life of joy, meaning and purpose. Welcome.

Back in August, I wrote a post called, “The Gift of Discipline.” You haven’t seen it yet because it still sits in my drafts folder. That is mainly because I sent it to a friend to look it over and he shared his own struggles with discipline.

Which got me thinking about my own discipline levels and where they came from. And now, I have today’s post. Harrison, you are basically my muse.

I am a very disciplined person.

I walk 30 minutes each day. I do some kind of vigorous exercise nearly every day. I put away my laundry the same day I wash it. I clean my kitchen before I go to bed. My house is generally neat and tidy.

Because I want to and it’s easy.

Except for when I feel I need to rest. But that’s a story for another post.

I haven’t always been a disciplined person, though.

When I was a teenager, my aunt and uncle were visiting from northern California and my mom told me I had to clean my room. My aunt volunteered to help me and, in a fit of giggles, we gathered the whole mess together and … shoved it into my closet. I am not exaggerating when I say that we could barely close the door. There is much fun to be had when two Leos get together.

It was much less fun when we moved and I had to pack up that ankle-deep pile of stuff.

I’d like to say that having to deal with all that then was a wake up call to change my slobbish ways, but it wasn’t.

That didn’t come until much, much later when I had a babysitter over to watch my kids and I was suddenly SO aware of what a mess my house was.

Thankfully, that incident did the trick.

All lasting change begins with a catalyst of some kind. A moment where you realize that you are not happy with the way things are AND you are finally going to do something about it.

It is that awareness plus the resolute decision to make the change that lets God and the whole universe know that you’re serious - and He is ready and willing to help you. Some might call that setting an intention.

The lovely thing about the catalyst is it doesn’t have to be huge. Sure, some people have a near-death experience and go on to radically change their lives. But that isn’t necessary. So please don’t think you need to tempt fate in order to create a life you love.

I struggled with exercising regularly until I was sitting on the couch one day and realized that, with my current lifestyle and family history of diabetes, that would likely become my reality if I kept things up. I could end up just like my dad’s aunt who had just had to have her foot amputated because of diabetes. I didn’t want to lose a foot!

My own aunt died recently due to complications after a foot amputation - the result of poorly managed diabetes.

I am so grateful that I’m no longer on that path, thanks to the catalyst nine years ago.

Though I sometimes joke about my feet hurting so much after long runs that I want to cut one of them off. Oh, the irony.

The catalyst is great and all, but what is awareness without dedicated, consistent action? And how is that possible unless you are fully committed to the cause?

Commitment means that you’re all in. You will not pursue any other options. This is it.

Commitment requires some modicum of maturity, which is sorely lacking in a world where FOMO runs rampant and keeping your options open lets you have it all.

You cannot have a six-pack and eat whatever you want all day while you sit on the couch watching TV.

You cannot have a deeply satisfying marriage while you look at all the other people out there and wonder what life would be like with them.

You cannot build wealth if you spend all of your money on random things just because you want them.

You cannot have a beautiful relationship with God and spend most of your days acting like He doesn’t exist.

Commitment requires choice. Choice requires sacrifice. But intentional sacrifice makes you enjoy what you’ve chosen so much more.

All of this sounds like a great big DUH, but it is quickly apparent when people start complaining about their lack of success that they haven’t fully committed to the thing they claim they so desperately want.

After committing, you must get crystal clear on what you want in order to make lasting change. It is that clarity that helps you realize what steps you need to take to become the person you want to be. Which begins with curiosity (why do these all start with C?).

It helps to picture yourself as the person you want to be. Or, if that’s too hard based on where you are now, picture someone you know who embodies your goal.

What do they believe? How do they think? What do they do on a daily basis?

I remember the moment when I decided I was done being a painfully shy, socially awkward introvert. I was sitting at my husband’s holiday party, wishing desperately that I wasn’t there because I was having the hardest time talking to people. I was boring, insecure and had no idea what to say.

It was then that I decided that I was going to be like my dad.

Everyone loves my dad. He’s gregarious, funny and, most importantly, doesn’t give a flying fuck what other people think about him. He’s got that big Sagittarius energy.

I wanted that. And I was willing to do what I needed to do to get there, no matter how uncomfortable I felt at times.

I developed the belief that everyone is always so nice to me. I read, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and actually did what it said. I pushed through the discomfort and built my confidence. Gradually, I became the person I wanted to be (though still an introvert).

Now, I can’t go out with my kids without them asking why I’m friends with everyone.

Can you create change without consciousness? I believe so, yes. Will it last? It depends.

To me, consciousness is deeply knowing yourself and why you think and do the things you do, as well as knowing God, and working together to heal wounds and create a meaningful life.

Let’s say, for instance, you want to lose 30 pounds because you’re just over being overweight already and if one more person asks if you’re pregnant, you’re going to snap. You are finally willing to embrace the discomfort to reach your goal.

The conscious person would look at their current eating habits and see what trips them up, whether it’s binge eating at night after starving all day, overeating in general, or having zero self control when candy is in the house. Or all of the above.

Then, they would look deeper and ask for wisdom about why they do those things. They might be given a flash of a memory where they were shamed for taking a second helping, so now they overeat in rebellion. They might get the awareness that their childhood wounds made them believe they aren’t worthy of the effort to make a change so they always self-sabotage.

Whatever the case, they recognize that their wounds are having a big impact and take the steps necessary to heal them. I cannot stress enough how helpful it is to ask God for healing as one of those steps.

They might also realize that they do just fine with self control when certain stuff isn’t in the house so they just don’t keep it in the house.

Once those wounds are healed or in the process of healing, they find that the heaviness surrounding this goal is no longer there. Their mindset can shift from one of drudgery to one of joy.

Isn’t it amazing what you can accomplish when you’re excited about something? How it can almost feel like a game because you’re having so much fun?

Suddenly the change you want isn’t something you have to struggle for. It’s more like an exciting trip you can’t wait to go on.

Developing discipline becomes easy because you love the way it makes you feel. The results are worth the effort.

YOU are worth the effort.